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Listen to Her

The next step in meeting a girl is to listen to her.

You've approached her, smiling, within three seconds, and you've started a conversation.  Now, pay attention to what she has to say.

Ask her questions.  Get her talking.  And then...


Women will give you a lot of material to work from in continuing a conversation, but you have to be willing to listen.

I still believe that the biggest fear most men have that prevents them from approaching women is that they're afraid they won't know what to say.  The trick is to listen.  If you listen to her, she will tell you what to say.

She won't tell you directly, mind you.  But, she will readily indicate the topics she's comfortable discussing and the things she's passionate about.

If she talks about camping in the woods with her family, ask her what she liked most about it.  Tell her about times that you've camped in the woods with your family, or wished that you could have.

The idea is to build rapport.  Make it seem like you've known her a lot longer than you have.  Friends listen to each other.  By listening, you exhibit the characteristic of a friend.

Let Her Speak

Some pick-up gurus teach that you have to do the bulk of the talking in your initial conversations with women.  Others maintain that you should work to get her talking.

In reality, it's probably somewhere in between.  You start the conversation, then you ask her questions to get her talking.  Then, you talk back, discussing the things she indicates through her speech that she's interested in talking about.

I used to be solidly in the camp with the "I have to talk the most" guys.  But then I got some feedback from some actual girls and they said, "Don't talk so much.  Give her a chance to talk sometimes."  That really opened my eyes.

So pay attention to what she says.  And pay attention to what you say.  If you're talking too much, stop!

Give her a chance to speak.  Then, listen.

If you do it right, you'll find your opportunity to move on to the next critical step: Touching her.

Return from Listen to Her to How to Meet Girls.

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